Sarah Ferguson, the former Duchess of York, has been busted for taking a bribe from a tabloid reporter. If you want more details about this, google the words “Ferguson” and “embarrassment,” and pass through the five pages of stuff about me.

The movie 'Avatar' is out on DVD today. James Cameron wanted it to be released on Earth Day because nothing says 'save the planet' like millions of plastic DVD cases.

On “The Early Show” tomorrow morning, Harry Smith will receive the first live TV colonoscopy. CBS is very excited; they’re already planning the spinoff show, “How I Met Your Rectum.”

At the box office this weekend, the movie 'Zombieland' was No. 1. It beat Michael Moore's new documentary. 'Zombieland' and the Michael Moore movie are very different, of course. One has a disgusting, lumbering monster that eats everything in its path, and the other one has zombies.

Sarah Palin’s ex-son-in-law Levi Johnston is going to be a spokesman for pistachios. It makes sense because after being part of the Palin family he’s become an expert on nuts.

The Olsen twins both turn 23 this weekend. They'll be celebrating like they do every year — they get a birthday cake and don't eat it.

Here’s an interesting story: Broadway producers are putting together a musical based on Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” It’s an unbelievable story about an innocent young boy who turns into an undead freak. I don’t know what the musical is about...

A new study came out that says men have a biological clock, too. I know I do. My big hand is always playing with my little one.

The “Mummy III” movie is out. Mummies in the movies all walk the same. They’re the walking dead — the same as vampires, zombies, Amy Winehouse ...

Barack Obama was in Germany today, and 100,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case.

Today is independence day for Madagascar. That’s where the pirates used to hang out and do “piraty” things . . . like drink rum . . . powder their cannon balls . . . get into sword fights . . . like a party at Elton John’s house.

“Dancing With the Stars” was incredible last night ... the leg splits, the jazz hands, the cheering, the uncontrollable crying ... and that was just me watching it.

There’s a woman on YouTube talking about her divorce. She signed a prenup, married a Broadway producer, got divorced and now she’s unhappy with the settlement. When I heard this I was shocked. A Broadway producer marrying a woman?!?

 

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