Rory: Do something to make me hate you!
Lorelai: Um, go Hitler?
Lorelai: I just broke up with someone.
Lorelai: We'd been dating for a few months now.
Luke: I figured there was someone in the picture.
Lorelai: You did? How?
Luke: Just clues. You know, you never dressed weather-appropriate, that kind of thing.
Lorelai: Oh, wait, are you Pennilyn Lott, my dad's college sweetheart?
Pennilyn Lott: Yes.
Lorelai: You're my almost-mommy.
Pennilyn Lott: Well, I supposed that's one way of putting it...
Lorelai: I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let me ask you something - would you have let me get a pony?
Rory: Asher Flemming is dead.
Marty: In bed?
Marty: Damn, I lost the pool.
Luke: Get out, Taylor.
Luke: It's just a code I live by.
Lorelai: [at the town meeting, when everyone is talking about the bad things that Jess has done] I hear he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to Glitter!
Rory: So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?
Lorelai: Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert... again.
Lorelai: Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips.
Lorelai: [walking into Luke's diner] Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.
Rory: You're happy.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy.
Lorelai: Hey Mom. You didn't make it back to the room last night. Did you get lucky?
Emily: Could you be any cruder?
Lorelai: Yeah, I can be cruder. Hey mom, did you get la...
Luke: Rory's not here yet.
Lorelai: Then you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay Burger boy, dance.
Luke: Will you marry me?
[Lorelai is taken aback]
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up.
Sookie: What's going on?
Lorelai: Michel's gonna live forever.
Sookie: Like the kids from 'Fame'?
Lorelai: That's what I said.
Lorelai: I miss Max.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Rory: Really? Dirty?
Lorelai: No. Absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer.
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.
Rory: You got in trouble with the government while you were waiting for me?
Lorelai: Just a little.
Rory: How much is a little?
Lorelai: Learn Russian.
Lorelai: Kirk asked me out.
Rory: Shut up!
Rory: That's so sweet!
Rory: What are you gonna wear? Ooh, you should wear your dress with the ponies on it, I bet he likes ponies.
Lorelai: You're not serious.
Rory: I bet you'll have a good time.
Lorelai: "Hello, headmaster Charleston, this is my stepdad, Kirk. Try not to make any sudden movements, he's a fear biter!"
Rory: OK, so how are you gonna let him down?
Lorelai: Luke, are you okay?
Luke: Stupid box. Stupid lamp.
Lorelai: Hey Luke, are you being attacked by your possessions again?
Luke: Very romantic.
Lorelai: Says the man who yelled "Finally." at the end of Love Story.
Rory: I have to get to school.
Jess: Yeah, me too.
Jess: Bye. Bye.
[Jess and Rory leave]
Luke: What the hell was that?
Lorelai: That was episode one of Rory and Jess: The Early Years.
Rory: Where's mom?
Luke: Looking for coffee.
Rory: What are you doing?
Luke: Looking at my shoes.
Rory: Okay... carry on.
Lorelai: You're my favorite daughter.
Rory: You say that to all your daughters.
Lorelai: Yes, I do, but I only mean it with you.
Rory: Please, don't walk away like that.
Dean: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not feeling very John Cleese right now.
Emily: What can we do in a bathroom?
Lorelai: Meet George Michael.
Rory: How come we don't have a tiki bar?
Lorelai: Because we're not two wild and crazy guys.
Rory: You like pina colodas.
Lorelai: And getting caught in the rain.
Michel: Am I or am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries?
Lorelai: Yes, and one of the few men I know who would proudly declare that fact.
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