Raj: Come on, let's get a drink.
Sheldon: I don't drink.
Raj: Well I do, and when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot.

Beverly: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure

Katee: Thanks, Howard. Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
Wolowitz: Come on, Katee. Don't make it sound so cheap.
Katee: I'm sorry. Fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.

Wolowitz [about Bernadette]: She wants a commitment, but I'm not sure if she's my type.
Penny: She agreed to go out with you for free. What more do you need?

Raj: Woh, menopause, nature's birth control.

Raj: "Sorry" doesn't make up for the fact that I had to make chicken and rice with this vegan guy! Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? Rice!

Sheldon: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late to the movies

Wolowitz: But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.

Wolowitz: Sheldon knows football?
Leonard: Apparently.
Wolowitz: I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football?

Raj: Leonard just realized that Penny's been hiding him from her friends because he's a tiny little man who flies kites

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Wolowitz: My mother calls me every day to see if I've had a healthy bowel movement

Wil [about Sheldon]: Did that guy just say, "revenge is a dish best served cold" in Klingon?
Stuart: I believe so
Wil: What is wrong with him?
Stuart: Everyone has a different theory

Wolowitz: So, what are we watching? Sex in the City, yikes!
Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Wolowitz: Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize

Raj: I don't want to go back to India! It's hot, and it's loud, and there are so many people! You have no idea -- they're everywhere.

Leonard: I've always been a little confused abut this -- why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture Sheldon! In the mood I'm in I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

Raj: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Wolowitz: What are you thinking? A big musical number?

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic

Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?

Leonard: I don't want to go to Texas
Wolowitz: Alright and I do? My people already crossed the desert once. We're done

Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever

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