Kirk: Say I was Tom Cruise. Where would you seat me?
Luke: In an acting class.

Lorelai: I am a grown woman.
Rory: Says the woman with the Hello Kitty waffle iron.

Lorelai: I don't hate you.
Dean: No?
Lorelai: No, though I did imagine at least 20 different ways to remove your head from your body.
Dean: Really? Which one looked the best?
Lorelai: Hedge clippers. Really dull ones.
Dean: No, you wouldn't want it to go quick, would you?

Lorelai: My life stinks. Hey, let's look into each other's eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time - maybe we'll pull a Freaky Friday.

Rory: How do you feel?
Lorelai: I ate tofurkey. How do you think I feel?
Rory: Tofurkier.

Jess: Romeo and Juliet had warring families and they still managed to do a little damage, you know?
Luke: Well, as soon as I catch you in a pair of tights, I'll get worried.

Lorelai: Great, fine, do what you want. I guess I'm just out the thousand-dollar deposit.
Luke: What deposit?
Lorelai: For the room.
Luke: What room?
Lorelai: For the thing, for the afterwards thing...
Luke: Oh, wait, now, you're talking crazy talk trying to confuse me, aren't you?
Lorelai: Aren't you?
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Who?

Luke: Shouldn't we give thanks first?
Jess: Thanks for what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Amen.

Rory: Oh, look, babies.
Lorelai: I never wanna hear that come out of your mouth again.

Rory: Can we not say the word college for at least forty-eight hours?
Lorelai: Fine.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: How 'bout collage, can we say collage? 'Cause it sounds the same but it's actually very different.
Rory: Collage is fine.
Lorelai: Okay, good, 'cause I don't even know how to get through a conversation without the word collage.

Sookie: No more pork!
Lorelai: Ah, finally, something to put on our business cards!

Lane: How are you doing, Kirk?
Kirk: Great. I'm loving this blackened Cajun bread Luke made for me. I didn't even ask for it.
Lane: It's burnt toast, Kirk. You don't have to eat it.
Kirk: But I'm loving it. And look, I've been mixing black ash with the runny eggs. Goes great with the fishy-tasting bacon.

Rory: Hi, I'd like a large caramel macchiato with an extra shot and whipped cream, please.
Coffee vendor: Coming up.
Rory: Wait, hold on, how much is that?
Coffee vendor: $4.85.
Rory: Okay, better drop the extra shot. What does that make it?
Coffee vendor: $4.20.
Rory: Better make it a small. What does that make it?
Coffee vendor: $3.30.
Rory: Better drop the whipped cream, what does that make it?
Coffee vendor: Less calories.
Rory: Just a plain old small coffee, please.

Lorelai: Independence Inn.
Emily: You really should identify yourself when you answer the phone at work.
Lorelai: Sorry. Independence Inn, major disappointment speaking. Better?

Rory: We go. We look. Hi Yale. Bye Yale. It's over. No harm. No foul.
Lorelai: How many more two-word sentences can you come up with?

Luke: Oh, really? Hanging socks on doors - that's your idea of funny?
Jess: Depending on the sock design, could be hilarious.

Rory: Who are the rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're mine.
Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're cute.
Rory: They're for prayer.
Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit.
Rory: They've just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell.

Lorelai: Oh man. Smell this.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: I forgot that pillows don't have to smell like feet.

Lorelai: So, I think I'm in touch with the other side.
Rory: The other side of...?
Lorelai: The *other* side!
Rory: With Republicans...?

Andrew: I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head.
Lorelai: There it is - our new town slogan.
Rory: I like it.
Lorelai: I see coffee mugs, T-shirts.

Lorelai: Uh oh. Jackson's got that panicked "my girlfriend wants me to get married" face on.

Rory: You know, you always make me tell you what I'm thinking.
Lorelai: Yes, and the lesson we have learned from that is you should never become a spy.

Lorelai: Aren't baby shower balloons supposed to reflect the sex of the baby? Blue for boys, pink for girls.
Rory: You would think.
Lorelai: What's green for, aliens?


 

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