Ha más nem is, de legalább én örülök neki. Craig a Zisten!!!! <3

I KNOW that's not the right accent, but I can't DO the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

CBS announced today they’re canceling “As the World Turns.” Don’t worry though, if you’re addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.

Oprah’s announced that she’s quitting her show in 2011. Now you know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012.

Once Oprah leaves her show, the most powerful woman on TV will be Ryan Seacrest.

The movie “2012” is out. It’s based on the Mayan belief that the world will end in 2012. Keep in mind that the Mayans also believe the oceans would run dry and a jaguar would eat the sun.
The Mayans also believed Jon and Kate would last forever.
The Mayans themselves actually ended much earlier: They were wiped out by the Spanish. They didn’t predict that, did they?

His grandson says he wants to restore Stalin’s good name. He says Stalin “presided over an era of good arts.” Which is like saying Hannibal lector presided over an area of fine cuisine.

It’s Belgian Independence Day. They’ve given the world so much ... the Belgian waffle ... but it’s great.

Belgium is a nice place, though. It’s the place people go to when they’re on their way to another place, a place they’re going to spend more time at. It’s kind of the Jennifer Aniston of countries.

Bob Dylan's album is No. 1 on the charts. He beat out Miley Cyrus. An old man on top of a young woman? Sounds like a party at Hugh Hefner's house.

Alex Rodriguez has admitted he used steroids. He said the worst side effect was having smaller testicles than Madonna.

It was announced today that Los Angeles is banning plastic bags. So say goodbye to Pamela Anderson.

Celebrity birthdays today: Daniel Radcliffe from “Harry Potter” and Monica Lewinsky. One is famous for working magic with a powerful wand, and the other is Harry Potter.

The world air guitar championships were held in Finland. The winner celebrated by going back to his hotel and having sex with imaginary groupies.I'd like to say that I've never done that myself. I'd like to say that...

Two movies opened today, the cartoon "Ratatouille," and Michael Moore's "Sicko." Two very different movies: One is about a big rat who's obsessed with food, always getting into trouble, and the other one is "Ratatouille."

Michael Jackson is in the Middle East. Bahrain. He's appearing at a private birthday party for $10 million. It's a children's birthday party. It's only $10 million, but it's all Michael could afford.

 

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