Monica: 'Throbbing pens? Don't wanna be around when he writes with those.
[Everyone stares at him.]
Chandler: Wait, did I just say "If I were a guy"?
Joey: Wait. You lost me.
Joey: A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
Gene: It's heavier than milk.
Joey: A rock! A dog! The earth!
Joey: Women can do it; you can't.
Rachel: Monica, will you please tell Joey that he's a pig?
Monica: [to Joey] You're a pig. [to Rachel] You can't do it.
Rachel: Well, I found the hardware store by myself!
Joey: The hardware store's just down the street.
Rachel: [pause] There's a hardware store down the street?
Ross: Oh my God, you know what, I think you're right! I think, you know what, listen, listen... a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression, and grabs the baby in it's talon! Meanwhile, the faucet fillsthe apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!
Rachel: Boy are you gonna be sorry if that's true..
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jumped.
Rachel: Oh my God! I left the water running!
Ross: Rachel, relax. You did not leave the faucet running.
Rachel: Did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven't cooked since 1996!
Phoebe: The Police, here? A reunion?
Joey: [arriving] Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: Well, in high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
[She attempts to move "Rosita" and ends up breaking the back off.]
Rachel: You bitch.
Monica: Nestle Toll House?
Phoebe: You Americans always butcher the French language.
Ross: I'm sorry, I was just thinking about your father.
Elizabeth: Okay... well whatever works for you.
Paul: I'm Irish.
Ross (hesitantly): ...And the Irish guy wins the joke.
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